Self Harm
by bayviewms
Summary: After a traumatic incident at Camp Jupiter, Percy, Piper and Nico are banished, leaving them vulnerable and alone. Percy wonders if life is truely worth living anymore, if all he does is hurt the ones he cares about. Rated T for self harm.
1. Chapter 1

Ch. 1. Watching Like A Hawk

 _How did I let this happen?_ He thought miserably as he shuffled gently down the gravel path. Every step was a challenge; just dragging one foot after the other. _How could Frank_ _do this to us?_

"Percy, it wasn't your fault," Piper consoled soothingly. She put everything into her charm-speak, yet her voice was still strained. Tears welled up in her eyes as she put a hand on Percy's shoulder, but he shrugged it off. He wasn't hearing any of it. He was deep in his memories. _The sound of glass breaking as water rushed in, of Reyna screaming, of her body thudding sickeningly against the wall. I screamed, but no sound came out. A horrible feeling rose in my gut as I tried in vain to stop it. Too late. Too little. Weak._

He shivered, but he couldn't stop reliving the most horrible day of his life.

Briskly, he picked up the pace, trying to outrun his thoughts. Piper struggled to catch up to him, a backpack slung over her shoulder. It bounced idly along with every hurried step she took, trying desperately to reach her beloved friend.

 _Water. So much water._

"Percy!" Piper shouted, but to him, she might as well have been a million miles away.

 _Reyna. I'm so sorry._

"Percy, you have to listen," She begged, sobbing now. She carelessly tucked a wet strand of her hair behind her ear and shook him by the shoulders. "Please! Listen to me!" She cried yet again, and again.

"Piper," Nico said. His voice was barely higher than a whisper, and yet it was like a knife searing into her soul. She whirled around, her eyes blazing with pain and fury even as tears flowed freely. He calmly held her gaze for just a second before she collapsed into his arms, crying into his shoulder.

"How could he do this to us?" She cried, twisting around to look at Percy. He'd stopped in the middle of the path and just stared blankly into the forest, his hand paused in midair. She took one look at his ashen face and fell back into Nico.

Mildly startled, he stayed still, not moving even an inch. His face went carefully blank, but his eyes were brimming with fury. Cold, quiet, calculating fury.

Coldness emanated off of him in waves, and the shadows skewed up into terrifying beasts, yet he still never moved, gently cradling the back of Piper's head.

He'd never known Frank to be this cold, to be this heartless when it came to the friends who saved his life multiple times, and vice versa; or to be this pitiless to his girlfriend, who he once promised to cross Tartarus for.

Even without looking, he knew. That he was standing back at camp, arms crossed, those intense eyes blazing at their footsteps even as new ones are being made.

Watching them like a hawk. He takes that expression to a whole new level.

Piper sniffed once more and finally stopped crying, snapping Nico out of his haze of red. "Come on," She rasped, "We should get Percy and find somewhere to stop for the night."

Nico didn't say anything, just walked past her and stood in front of Percy. His blank eyes betrayed his pain and disbelief, still denying it happened at all.

Sighing unhappily, he drew a line of shadow in the air and led Percy gently along on the leach of darkness. Piper looked on with wide, unsettled eyes, but didn't utter a word. Slowly, Camp Jupiter receded along the horizon, fading in with the setting sun.

Not one of them looked back. Not even once.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2. In Friendship We Trust

 _Back at Camp Jupiter…_

"Quick! Get her to the Apollo cabin!"

"She's lost a lot of blood-"

"Where's Will?"

"Don't bump her head!"

A cacophony of voices rang out around the camp. Everywhere, people were struggling to save her, to save the life of one of their own. They crowded around her as close as they can as a few kids made a stretcher. They were struggling to get her on it, trying to not touch her wound or any blood around it. A few of the bystanders grew sick and left, offering their moral support.

Only Frank wasn't there. No one knew where he was; only that he'd disappeared after the "Final Hearing," as they were now calling it. Accusing whispers were passed along from camper to camper about Hazel's tragic accident – only, it wasn't an accident.

Only Frank knew. Only he knew what really went down in that court room, during what might as well have been the last meeting of the Seven.

 _This wasn't supposed to happen,_ he thought, burying his head in his hands. They felt too rough, too foreign to be his own. He stared in horror as he thought of what could do, what they had almost done.

Too late, he realized he made a horrible decision, exiling two of the Seven and a son of Hades. That sadness quickly dissipated, turning into anger at the trio, and at Percy in particular.

He screamed in rage, thrashing the nearest table. His hands, at the last second, turned to stone, and the table shattered into a pile of rough splinters.

Horrified, he shook out his fists and they returned to normal. _This is all because of Percy. He started it. He did this to Hazel. And he'll pay._

Seething with vehemence, he changed, over and over again, just to see how it felt. Copper, Brass, Wood, Sand; he could do it all.

He cried out, a scream of triumph and just a hint of insanity.

 _I'll find Percy Jackson. And he'll pay for every second she suffers._

Leo stood in the back of the crowd, the only other one of the Seven present. He was anxiously readjusting his tool belt, feeling guiltier with every voice that called out to Hazel, for Hazel, feeling heavier with dread and regret. People were eyeing him when they thought he wasn't paying attention, pointing fingers at the one who didn't try to stop it.

He tore his eyes away from Hazel's pale face and staggered away, heading for nowhere especially, but his feet found their way to Calypso's cabin near the stream. He knocked on the door, harder than he'd like, even as his knuckles turned red. He didn't want to be the one to tell her.

The door opened while he was mid-knock, revealing Calypso's beautiful and stunning face. "Hey Valdez," She said sleepily, smoothing back her hair. "What's up?"

Her expression quickly turned to alarm when Leo didn't answer. "Leo?" She asked urgently, "What happened?"

His face betrayed his guilt and fear, and with one look in his eyes Calypso pushed past him and stood on the sandbank. "Leo. Did something happen that I should know about?" She demanded.

He took a deep breath, and told her exactly what.

"I had a meeting of the Seven this morning," He began carefully, watching her face. She was still glaring at him, but then again, she does tend to do that. Convinced she wasn't going to attack him now, he continued. "There – there was an accident at the library. Percy, he lost control of his powers. There was a flood, and Reyna got hurt.

"Basically, after Percy woke up, we got together for a meeting, and, well, Frank sort of blew up. Not literally, no! But he took it harder than the others. He demanded to see Reyna, and, well, when he did, he went ballistic on Percy." Calypso's mouth was hanging open now with shock and disbelief. She nodded urgently and made a continue gesture with her hand. Leo's mouth was dry, but he wanted her to know every detail. "Can – can we sit down? This might take a while."

They went inside the cabin and sat down, side by side. Calypso put her hand on Leo's and urged him to go on, even though she didn't like to see him unhappy, and, well, _not_ bouncing off the walls.

"He turned into _lava,_ Calypso. _Lava._ No one knew he could even do that. It was like what Annabeth told me; when she and Percy were in Tartarus, he _controlled_ Misery's poison. Frank can _change,_ more so than before!" Leo threw his arms up to animate his point as Calypso listened ever so intently. "If he can turn into lava, who knows what else he can do!"

At that, Leo fell silent, but Calypso felt that he had more to say. She tilted her head slightly and raised an eyebrow, but he stubbornly refused to say more.

"Leo, there's more," She prompted, and squeezed his hand in comfort. It was quivering as he talked, but it was full out shaking now.

He closed his eyes, like he was going to sleep, and Calypso leaned closer to hear.

"Hazel tried to stop him," He whispered, his voice soft and airy. "She tried to grab him by the arm, but his body erupted in spikes. It – it –"

Leo's eyes began watering, and he pressed his lips tight. And here he was, thinking the hardest part about this was getting Calypso to listen, but the truth was that he couldn't bear to talk about it. Seeing him in distress, Calypso wrapped him a hug, her fair hair twining itself around his neck. "It's okay. You don't have to say it if you don't want to."

He brushed a strand of wayward hair away from his mouth and took a shuddering breath. "It impaled her. In the heart."

She jumped up in shock, as if ready to defend against an unseen danger, but Leo pulled her down. "Where is she?" She begged. "Is she okay?"

What she really wanted to say was, _is she dead?_ But Leo nodded meekly, and she collapsed with relief. "I have to go help her! I know magic! I can save her!" She replied, but Leo still held her. Surprised, she sat down again, looking pointedly at Leo.

"There's something else, Calypso. Frank banished Percy."

She inhaled sharply, but didn't say anything more. That still wasn't the full story.

"Okay. You know how Jason's over at Camp Half-Blood, and Annabeth's over at Olympus? So there was only me, Piper, Nico, Hazel and Percy at the meeting. And Frank, of course. So when he banished Percy, Nico and Piper tried arguing against him, and now they're all gone. Somewhere out there, alone, at mercy to the monsters…" His voice grew quieter and quieter with every word, trailing off, until he said what he really needed to confess to Calypso about. "I didn't' say anything. I agreed with Frank, because I didn't want to leave camp, to leave you."

Calypso began tearing up, and she shut her eyes tightly, squeezing back the tears. "You probably think I'm a horrible person, saving myself," He continued, but she was shaking her head.

"Leo, it's okay. You stayed, so you can help them from inside! Tell them what's happening! You don't have to feel guilty for choosing a different path."

"You really think so?" He asked hopefully, his body growing warm with happiness.

"I really do."


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3. Leap of Faith

Stones skittered down the cliff edge, tumbling against the sheer rock as they fell into the rapids. Through the roar of rushing water, one could barely even hear their own thoughts.

He balanced precariously along the rim of the stone bowl, the tips of his feet just protruding over the rock face. The sight below made him dizzy, but he refused to take a step back. The sun was just coming over the horizon, peeking its bright head through the clouds, shining rays of dazzling light all through the heavens. A ray caught Percy in the eye, and he raised his hand up to shield from the glare. More pebbles slipped from under his feet and fell past the brink.

 _So this is how I'll go,_ he determined resolutely. _Not slain by a manticore, not stabbed by empousi, not shot by a poisonous arrow, but by jumping off a cliff._

 _I always expected to die in battle, defending my friends, family and team._ He chuckled ruefully, smoothing down his shirt. He teetered on the edge, pitching forward uncertainly. _Now I've let them all down. Reyna's hurt, my friends are exiled, dead or hate me, and I have a cyclops half-brother and a sea god to call as family. That's got to be the lowest possible, considering everyone around me will live much longer if I'm not around._

He gazed at the water and tried to determine the best way to jump. _Should I go far or just step off? I risk hitting the wall either way. And what if the water heals me? I don't want to fail at dying. That would be the ultimate low._

"Percy! You get down from there!" Piper was screaming desperately at him, but he didn't listen. "Percy!" She yelled again.

Nico appeared by her side and looked in horror at the son of Poseidon, perched on the cliff edge. They had a hurried conversation, lost to the wind, which ended with Nico shaking his head remorsefully and Piper bursting into tears for the second time in as many days. "Percy! Step away from the drop and walk towards me!" She attempted to form her words into charmspeak, but she was too upset.

Percy looked back at the drop, and thought yet again about all the pain he'd caused. _I'm a child of the Big Three; it's bound to happen,_ he tried to reason with himself, _but Nico, Thalia, Hazel and Jason are all children of the Big Three. Why aren't they causing any trouble?_ _You know, now that I think about it, they had a lot of kids. Who ever said finding a son of Zeus was rare?_

"Perseus Jackson! Step away from the drop and come inland!" Piper called out, her voice strong this time. Percy actually turned and took a step backwards before realizing that she was using charmspeak, and brutally wrenched himself away from the invisible thread. His right foot found purchase, his left foot did not, and he was sent plummeting to the bottom of a gorge at the speed that only a human could fall at.

For a few seconds, he experienced flight. The wind buffeted his hair and face, and he knew then why Jason liked flying more than staying down on the ground. Then, he was violently hit, and there was black.

….

Nico stepped out of the shadows to greet an anxious Piper. "Well?" She inquired urgently. "Did you make it in time?"

He dipped his head, as if in sorrow, and Piper's eyes widened in defeat. Then, Percy came stumbling out of the shade of the trees, coughing and disoriented.

Piper covered her mouth to hide her shout of joy and wrapped her arms tightly around Percy. Still stunned, he didn't even move to react before she turned around and punched Nico on the arm.

"You scared me!" She screeched in his ear while he rubbed his arm sorely. "You had me believing he was dead!"

The word seemed to bring about a change in Percy, because his eyes immediately glazed over. Nico inwardly groaned and outwardly rolled his eyes while he dragged Percy away. "We're going to have a talk," He mentioned briefly to a confused Piper.

He towed Percy to a log and sat him down. His expression had almost returned to normal, but Nico decided to give him some time, and sat down beside him. Awkwardly, he drummed his fingers on the side of the log, playing out the beat of some song long forgotten.

At last, Percy seemed to come alive. "Why did you save me?" He asked timidly with a shuddering breath.

Nico shrugged. "You saved my life before. Seems fitting that I return the favour." He smirked, but his smile quickly disappeared. "I didn't want you die like that."

"But what's the point of living?" He cried, striking the log. "Everything I do just gets people and demigods killed! Didn't you ever think that the world would be a better place if you weren't in it? That you were just placed there as the back-up plan –"

"YES!" Nico spat, and didn't offer any further explanation.

Percy stopped talking long enough to stare incredulously at the son of Hades. "What do you mean?" He asked quietly.

Nico huffed forcefully. He didn't plan on mentioning it, but supposed it was his fault for bringing it up.

"Look. After the whole Athena Parthenos adventure, I went back to Camp Half-Blood and decided to stay there, but there was a breach, and someone let in a Chimera. When the Ares kids finally got rid of it and sacrificed its pelt to the gods, they told us who did it. A son of Apollo."

"Will? No, it can't be!" Percy exclaimed, but Nico's glare shut him up.

"Will. He didn't say anything, just packed up his things and left the next day. And suddenly, I'm guilty by association because I – I dated him, and I'm a son of Hades, and everyone just expects me to be evil and leave."

"That's horri – Oh, right, quiet."

"So I did. I stabbed myself in the chest. Really, I just wanted to see if I had a heart, if I'm really alive, but I didn't even feel anything before I was suddenly standing in front of Cerberus. I didn't even go through Charon. I even went and stood in line for the Fields of Asphodel, because I just wanted to pass through quickly and not even see Hades, but he found me anyways and dragged me over to his lair. I was scared, I admit it. I guess I expected him to banish me to Tartarus, or erase my memory, or at least yell at me, but all he did was talk. Just talk. He said the fates weren't done with my tapestry, that they were still unspooling thread, that I had a bigger destiny than anything I've already done, so he couldn't let me die. I protested, but Thanatos sent me up to Camp Half-blood again, and I guess I revived in the middle of my cabin, surrounded by blood, and no one even bothered to check on me during the time I was dead. I only stayed because I'm needed, Percy. And you're needed. You're the prophesised one, the one that's going to bring peace to the gods. I guess I was around to save you from doing a bone headed thing and jumping off a cliff."

Percy was stunned. He'd never heard Nico talk that much or that passionately about anything before. "Wow. I mean, I had no idea that – Wow. Nico, you're not around to save me. You're here to – to –"

He chuckled mirthlessly. "Yeah. I thought so." And he stood up and walked away, his feet crunching on the blanket of pine needles. Shafts of light were beginning to show through the branches and leaves, so Percy got up and dusted off his pants. He saw a squirrel dash up a tree, and smiled to himself. _Huh. It does feel good to be alive._


	4. Chapter 4

Piper began to worry when Nico stumbled for the 5th time.

"Is there something wrong?" She asked gently, still treading on volatile earth after whatever the boys' conversation was. Nico had retreated into some faraway cavern, and Percy had possibly caused fish rain in Mexico.

He rubbed his temples and trembled. He didn't say anything. She noticed that the last few days have not been kind to him. His clothes hung off his already gaunt frame, and his face looked caved in. His hair was wind-blown and longer than he usually kept it, and his eyes had a yellow, blood-shot look to them.

"Nico?" She tried again. This time he relaxed his previously tense arms, letting them fall from their stiff position.

She sighed. She didn't want to, but she would have to look into his thoughts. It's a skill the others didn't know she had, and she supposed it had something to do with her charmspeak. Like she could just look at someone, and tell them, _show me what you're thinking about,_ and their mind obeyed. She didn't like using it, because it's a personal violation into the most secure and insecure place in a person's psyche, but it seemed necessary in this case.

She took a deep breath, and dove in.

 _"-And have you forgotten the good deeds they've done? Piper single-handedly destroyed an entire squadron of giants in the War!" Jason screamed._ She was looking at Camp Jupiter, in a large clearing that served as a launch-pad for sons of Jupiter and pegasi alike. Jason was standing there, his hair bleached white from his time at Camp Half-Blood, a tan showing on his scowling face. Bits of dirt swirled around him, as if he wanted to destroy Frank, who he was talking to, but wanted to know more.

 _"No matter the good they've done – " Frank continued calmly, getting cut off abruptly by Jason._

 _"NO MATTER? How can you say 'no matter'? IF IT WEREN'T FOR PERCY, YOU WOULD BE DEAD!"_

 _" – They've now injured our praetor, and the punishment for that is banishment. I can't bend the rules just because of who their parents are. You know that, Jason."_

 _Air condensed in a cyclone around them, whipping dirt and leaves around menacingly._

 _The two boys glared at each other for a long moment before Calypso dove in, standing between them before a fight could occur._

 _"Talk some sense into him!" Jason snapped at her, and was promptly seized by the collar._

 _"Take a hike," She growled sweetly, setting him down again. The wind gradually died down as he flew away in fury, leaving Calypso, Frank and a hidden, wide-eyed Leo in the clearing._

 _"Piper didn't do anything wrong," Calypso began patiently. "She was just debating peacefully for the rights of her friend and ally, as the jury does. If you would just see reason, you would realize that your decision was a bit rash. After all, that's not what Hazel wants, is it?"_

 _At Hazel's name, all signs of compassion or understanding leapt from his face, and once again, he might as well have been a stone – unyielding and hard._

 _"It's all Percy's fault," He spat in an eerily calm voice. "He did this to Reyna and Hazel, and he will pay."_

 _"But if you would just listen –"_

 _He cut her off with a cry of rage and slammed her into a tree. She crawled up, spitting out blood. She stared in vehemence at his steel hands._

 _'I wonder where my friend is. Because he SURE AS HADES isn't here!"_

 _And with that, she stormed off, Leo darting out of the bushes ahead of her and running away._

Nico winced, and Piper backed herself out of his mind. That couldn't be what's _really_ happening right now… Can it? After all, she _had_ just developed new powers, and if the vision was to be believed, so did Frank, so why can't Nico see into the camp?

Percy, hare-brained as he is, finally noticed that the two of them had halted to a stop. He turned around and regarded them curiously, and Piper gestured for him to shake Nico.

He shook Nico by the shoulders, and the teen's head snapped forward, a knife suddenly at Percy's throat.

"Calm down!" Percy exclaimed, backing away from the sharp tip. Nico rubbed the back of his neck and sat down hard.

"Anything you want to tell us?" Piper said impatiently, tapping her foot. If he wasn't going to, she was, and she didn't care about any violation of privacy at this point.

He took a shuddering breath. "I have a new power. I just discovered it. Anywhere where there's shadow, I can _see._ I can see what's going on in camp."

Silence.

"What's going on?" Percy asked, completely oblivious. Piper smacked him upside the head.

"Jason and Calypso are arguing with Frank," She snapped, and Nico stared at her. She sighed. Time to come clean.

"I have a new power too. I can hear your thoughts, but only if I try hard enough. But I'm not the one to worry about. Frank has a new power too. He can turn into anything. ANYTHING. Not just animals."

Percy chuckled awkwardly. "… So you don't randomly go into our heads?"

"No!" Piper hurriedly turned down. "The point is, Frank's dangerous!"

"You're not getting it!" Nico suddenly snarled. He leapt up from his rock and stood as tall as his height allowed. " _Everyone_ is worried about the beautiful girl, the dashing hero, but have you heard _anyone_ ask about me? About Hazel? What Frank said, about special treatment because of our parents, applies BOTH WAYS! No one cares about a child of Hades!"

Percy and Piper just gaped at him, and Piper began to mull over the scene. Never once did anyone ask about Nico, or try to defend him. What ever happened to the Big Three brotherhood?

"Nico –" She began, but he tore ahead, running full tilt.

She looked at Percy, then back at the boys' retreating form, and raced after him.


End file.
